If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

The 4th of July is usually one of my favorite holidays. I love celebrating our break from England, independence, and our birth as a nation. I love how the smell of thick smoke from the fireworks reminds me of the battles fought, and how God has truly given America the freedoms it has. Usually, I love everything about it... Except this year something awful happened.

Christopher and his little sister Sophia in 2008

I used to babysit for a boy named Christopher. He is eight now, and like an boy his age, he is fully of curiosity and loves to get in on the action. This year while the were setting off fireworks, he decided to put a parachute upside-down in another tube. We think he said he wanted to see how the parachutes worked when they came out. He lit it, and backed up, but the improperly set firework exploded, causing the tubing to hit him right in the eye.

Immediately he was scooped up and transported to an emergency room, where they led everyone to believe his wounds were superficial. However, once he was transported to the local children's hospital, they told his parents that they "globe" had been shattered, and he was rushed into emergency surgery to repair what pieces were left. Today they said that at best he will regain 20% vision is his eye, and at worst infection will set in and they may have to remove it completely.

I have asked all of my friends to pray for Christopher. My heart aches for him! This blog post is the first time that I have told the whole story, though. See, I know that many of those who do know what happened have already had plenty to say. It is in our human nature to try to find blame when tragedy strikes. It's how we make sense of things that are senseless.
 
Earlier this summer I had a lot of friends who had some very scathing words for a parent who accidentally left their child in a hot car, resulting in the child's death. They said that people who could forget their child for a second (even if it never resulted in any harm) should never be parents. They procliamed, "I would never...!" Never is a dangerous word. I wonder how they feel about all the parents of children who have drowned, or been accidentally shot, or were kidnapped, or who were backed over by a loved-one's car, or got into some substance they shouldn't have?


The thing is, when we casting stones, we forget that maybe the target of our outcry is the individual who needs our deepest sympathies and fervent prayers.  Should an eight year old have firecrackers in the first place? That's a matter of opinion. Should he have been better trained on how to handle them properly? Maybe. Should his father (who was right there) have been paying more attention? Probably. Do he and his family need our prayers for healing and comfort? ABSOLUTELY!

Job 2:11-13 (King James Version)

 ¹¹Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.
 ¹²And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.
 ¹³So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

When tragedy struck Job, his friends came and sat by his side in complete silence. Later, they berated and blamed him for his own misfortune, but for a whole seven days they held on to their compassion and said nothing. I have heard many a grieving man and woman say "My friends didn't say anything- they just gave me a hug and some coffee and sat there. It was the best thing they could have done for me."

Proverbs 10:19 (King James Version)

 ¹⁹In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

 Ultimately, faulting someone isn't going to fix or change anything. The people involved in these type of accidents have suffered enough, anyway. Jesus told us to pray for our enemies-shouldn't we also be able to pray for those good people who maybe had a momentary lapse in judgement?

My momma used to say, If you can't say anything nice- don't say anything at all. I say, If you can't say anything nice- at least pray.